Where I've Been

Hey there everybody. Thanks for checking back in.

Missed me?

I thought not. I wouldn't have missed me either.

Well, time to come clean with everyone. I promised in my last post that I would reveal why I had to go away for a while. There was a time that I didn't think I was ever coming back, but things have settled down for the moment and I can tell you what happened.

On January 3rd, at 8:30 in the morning, my brother-in-law and probably one of my closest friends, JR Evens, died from a heart attack. He was 42 years old.

He was about as close to a brother as I have had in the world, other than my sister's husband, but JR was closer in age. There was nothing that I couldn't talk about with him, from cars and comics to relationship issues. He was funny, personable, and if you got the chance to know him for more than a few hours, you left feeling better for the experience. I miss him terribly.

As bad as it has been for me, this has been totally devastating for my wife. She was very close to him and we even bowled as a team. They had their nights when they watched Doctor Who, either on BBC, Sci-FI, or MPT (which used to run late night on Saturdays). They would spend the time talking about the episode and what was going on in each other's lives. I would occasionally watch along with her, but never interfered with their moment. When he was having some money troubles lately, she paid for his bowling until he got back on his feet financially. I would try and help out with some food or snacks so we know that he would have something substantial to eat. It wasn't much, but he appreciated any little bit. We thought that he had turned a corner and started back on the road again, and we were all hopeful that 2009 would be a good year for us all.

Then we got the call from his sister, who he was living with.

We hightailed it to Carroll County General, where he was taken. We got there, and a nurse said that someone would come to get us. I had to pee and found a bathroom. I stood there for a minute and heard a wailing that at first, couldn't understand. A nanosecond later, I realized where the wailing was coming from. It was my wife. She was being told by her sister and father about JR. She was inconsolable. I grabbed her and hugged her and tried to comfort her and her father. I was about as useful as broom trying to beat back a tidal wave.

This was about a month and a half ago. In that time, I have tried to stay as close to my wife as possible. For the first couple of weeks, I just about never left her side, except for a few things. She would sleep, but everytime she awoke, the memory of what happened would come rushing back to her and she would cry. This has diminished over time, and I think I can say that she is doing much better, but she still has her days. The first time we went back to bowling was very difficult for her, and she couldn't bring herself to bowl that night. But she promised him that she would keep doing it (he was the reason we got into it in the first place) so she went last week and did very well, both in bowling and emotions.

I am going to go now, but before I do there are some people I need to thank. My family, especially my mom and sister have been terrific in both talking to Boo and trying to be there for her. I've said it before and I'll say it here; I am a very lucky man to have family like this. I love all of you. On a lighter note, Rusty kept my comics warm for me (man were they the escapism I needed at the time) so thanks bud. A very big thank you goes to our friends. Cathy, Tom, Dan, Tammy, Sara and Cory, you guys have been so helpful and loving toward Boo that I can't begin to thank you enough. You were there from the moment you heard, offering unwavering love and support that even now, there are no words to accurately convey my appreciation, so the simple (but insignificant) "Thank you and we love you" will have to suffice.

To my friends (Jim, Matthew, Shawn) I can only say that I will be back but just be patient. There are days that it's the old me, but sometimes there aren't. I promise to be around more as I can.

Oh, one last thing. I will be posting a picture of JR at some point. Sorry, I don't have a scanner so it will take some doing.